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Thursday, January 13, 2005

dear friends

thank you so much for your support and encouragement . i never expected for my blog to be this public . but oh well . i'm not writting to impress and this is just a site to let off steam and to let my thoughts flow as a constant current through my incessant typing of pent up feelings . if u are here to judge what i say , then i suggest perhaps u shouldn't come to my site ever again then . its my career suicide not yours . but for those who haev been steadfast , i thank you from teh bottom of my heart and hold u dear in my heart . thank you .

many of you have sent me letters to tell me how you felt closer to me after this blog and how real situations are in life and how u too feel scared and u too think of great decisions in life .

i too am human and i fall and falter . i run back to cringed old ways and get disappointed at my weakness . but u know what . its ok . its ok to feel down sometimes and its ok to feel you are alone . think but don't dwell . recover quickly as u keep telling yourself to have faith and to believe in the impossible . its only when we have hope and we look forward to soemthing , we work towards soemthing , without grudge in our hearts that we can actually progress .

this week was hellish for me . people bombarding me with how silly i am to make such a suicidal decision and them seeing red for my life's "downturn" .
i cannot deny that i wasn't a tad bit affected . i felt perhaps when reality sinks in . i'll start to smell the stink .

but u know what . i had to pull myself out of it . literally drag . to hope for the better . to practise what i've preached . to say yes . i have made my choice to leave it to the lord and i haev to believe and i will believe that he will opn a better door for me . but in the meantime , i will continue to improve myself . taking up lessons and makign arrangements for other things .i am excited at the prospect of new things and i probably would disappear for a while . you guys might not see me on tv and others might probably start to forget me . but i am happy .
and i will treasure those who have stayed behind to be a friend . thank you for blanketing me with your warmth .

gonna go for my meetings now . perhaps a new path for me to unravel ; )

deliriousdreams [1:14 AM]

feeohnababy's info here.
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servant of God

. memories //*
January 2005